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Showing Respect to our Children


A while ago, a segment of one of my newsletters was plagiarized. I consulted my in-house “lawyer in training” – my son Alex.

Whenever I think of our discussion that day, it really warms my heart. On one Sunday, in our “Love and Respect” Sunday School class, I think I finally recognized why Alex’s assistance had been so important to me that day. He was defending me – which was showing that he loved me.

In the book, it tells a good deal about cycles, and ways love LEADS TO respect, and respect LEADS TO love. Therefore I started contemplating what I did to show my son respect that day. I think that the moment when I wanted to know his view of the issue, adult to adult, was the moment that he knew I respected him. We won’t even look at all the times I completely *fail* at the love and respect cycle, but I did think it was interesting to look at a situation in which it worked. I hope it will encourage you.



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Comments 5

Guest - renee on Sunday, 25 September 2011 14:33

Ephesians 5. Amen. The Word of God always makes life easier when we understand it and obey it, doesn't it? That is one of my favorite chapters, because I consistently fail it and need to be brought back in line. Thanks for the encouragement!

Ephesians 5. Amen. The Word of God always makes life easier when we understand it and obey it, doesn't it? That is one of my favorite chapters, because I consistently fail it and need to be brought back in line. Thanks for the encouragement!
Guest - J W on Sunday, 25 September 2011 20:54

Men aren't the only ones who need respect - I think those the book and videos downplay the female need for respect. In most women that need might not be as prominent as it is in most men, but it is there. 'Nuff said - and bear with me, I am going somewhere with this.

My young lady is a budding horse whisperer who, although her direct access to horses is painfully limited, has absorbed a lot through reading and watching training videos for the past three years. In her spare time.

Just yesterday a horse were patting a horse we'd never met before. My daughter was at the horse's head (of course). Then she moved off - we presumed she was going over to the next horse. The horse we were patting abruptly left the rest of us and followed my daughter along the fence. The rest of us dismissed that behavior as "Oh, the horse just likes her better."

My daughter explained very carefully that this was not a whim on the horse's part. She explained the horse exhibited a certain set of behavioral cues that are a test to see what place in the pecking order the horse could put my daughter into. My daughter's response was to take the dominant position relative to the horse's body and start moving. The horse indicated acceptance of that leadership with the obvious - following, and some not-so-obvious behaviors my daughter noticed but the rest of us hadn't.

I affirmed that young lady and credited her with going beyond the books to apply what she's learned, and teaching the rest of us about what was really going on in that horse's brain.

She was so happy about that affirmation. It meant a lot to her. Of course she was excited that what she'd read about actually works in the real world, but it meant more to her that we were genuinely appreciative of her insight and demonstrated knowledge.

Even if the rest of us didn't get to pat the pretty pony anymore :-)

Men aren't the only ones who need respect - I think those the book and videos downplay the female need for respect. In most women that need might not be as prominent as it is in most men, but it is there. 'Nuff said - and bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. My young lady is a budding horse whisperer who, although her direct access to horses is painfully limited, has absorbed a lot through reading and watching training videos for the past three years. In her spare time. Just yesterday a horse were patting a horse we'd never met before. My daughter was at the horse's head (of course). Then she moved off - we presumed she was going over to the next horse. The horse we were patting abruptly left the rest of us and followed my daughter along the fence. The rest of us dismissed that behavior as "Oh, the horse just likes her better." My daughter explained very carefully that this was not a whim on the horse's part. She explained the horse exhibited a certain set of behavioral cues that are a test to see what place in the pecking order the horse could put my daughter into. My daughter's response was to take the dominant position relative to the horse's body and start moving. The horse indicated acceptance of that leadership with the obvious - following, and some not-so-obvious behaviors my daughter noticed but the rest of us hadn't. I affirmed that young lady and credited her with going beyond the books to apply what she's learned, and teaching the rest of us about what was really going on in that horse's brain. She was so happy about that affirmation. It meant a lot to her. Of course she was excited that what she'd read about actually works in the real world, but it meant more to her that we were genuinely appreciative of her insight and demonstrated knowledge. Even if the rest of us didn't get to pat the pretty pony anymore :-)
Guest - Lee (website) on Monday, 26 September 2011 11:56

Speaking of horses, Joelle, have you looked at some degrees in horses?
Equine Studies Associate Degree Programs
http://www.horsechannel.com/horse-resources/equine-college-associate-degree.aspx
Saw it and thought of your daughter
Lee

Speaking of horses, Joelle, have you looked at some degrees in horses? Equine Studies Associate Degree Programs http://www.horsechannel.com/horse-resources/equine-college-associate-degree.aspx Saw it and thought of your daughter :) Lee
Guest - J W on Monday, 26 September 2011 14:58

Yes, absolutely we have :-) Through a website about one of *my* favorite hobbies we learned about Lake Erie College's program from an alumnus, who, before college, looked at a number of colleges offering equine programs. That might be a good option. Right now, my daughter is favoring the 2 year vet-tech program at community college via the Running Start program, then several years of study to become a veterinarian, then certifications in equine physical therapy.

Yes, absolutely we have :-) Through a website about one of *my* favorite hobbies we learned about Lake Erie College's program from an alumnus, who, before college, looked at a number of colleges offering equine programs. That might be a good option. Right now, my daughter is favoring the 2 year vet-tech program at community college via the Running Start program, then several years of study to become a veterinarian, then certifications in equine physical therapy.
Guest - Lee (website) on Monday, 26 September 2011 15:42

You go, girls
Blessings,
Lee

You go, girls :) Blessings, Lee
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Sunday, 25 August 2019

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