As children get older, you begin to realize that you have less and less control over their behavior. It's not until you reach the teen years that you truly understand why all the child training you did in the early years was so important. Sometimes it seems like you can't tell them anything when they are older teens, and the only messages they hear from you are the ones you said a decade earlier!
As children get older, then, you begin to worry about shame. Will my children do something so stupid that I will end up being embarrassed? To be honest, this is true for all parents, not just homeschoolers. I was reading Psalms when I began to notice the psalmist had the same concern.
Psalm 25:1- 2
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me
be put to shame
Psalm 31:1
In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame
Psalm 71:1
In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame
Psalm 119:31
I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame
It's a normal prayer. "Oh, please, Lord, don't let me be ashamed that we homeschool!" It's normal for that prayer to become more urgent as they get older.
I remember when I was pregnant. Other women would share details about what a perfect childbirth experience was like. Not all of them had ever given birth, but they seemed to be certain they knew what is "should" be like. But women who had already given birth had a different perspective. They knew that all pregnancies vary, childbirth experiences vary, that each birth is completely unique, and there is no "should" in childbirth. When you give birth, no amount of prior planning can ensure a certain kind of birth experience. Unexpected things happen in childbirth. It's like that with older teenagers. No amount of perfect planning can ensure a specific result.
As children get older, they may make choices that you would not choose for yourself. Younger parents may not understand, and they may question your parenting or judgment. Take heart. Older parents truly understand. They know what it is like to watch an adult child make decisions on their own. They know just what you are going through.
Reading farther in my Bible, I noticed that the Lord provides a promise.
Isaiah 50:7
Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.
We will not be ashamed. Not because we are perfect, and not because our children are perfect. Thank goodness! Because I know for a fact that parents and children are NOT perfect, not matter how wonderful their homeschool experience! Perfection is not the answer to living shame-free. We will not be ashamed ONLY because we have the Lord's help.
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