Hi there, Mr. HomeScholar here...
It has come to my attention that homeschool dads will sometimes struggle understanding their wives. Lee asked me to help explain the homeschool mom perspective to the dads out there.
As a public service, I wanted to share my Homeschool Mom Universal Translator with your husband. Could you please pass this on to him? Consider it my gift to you. You might want to print this out and keep it in your wallet for handy reference.
Did you read my blog post, Disapproving, Insensitive Relatives Translator (DIRT)? This can help if you have other family members that disapprove of your homeschooling your children.
For up-to-date information on how to translate your homeschool mom messages, check out this article: TheHomeschool Mom Decoder.
To print your Homeschool Mom Universal Translator (HMUT) click the link below:
PS. Get our FREE resources guide, "The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make Homeschooling High School." I promise you will love it or DOUBLE your money back!!
Fantastic! I love it .... spot on! Including the comments as well .... and indeed the communication via skype and email as hubby's on go round #4 in Iraq brings in a whole nother level of what you heard! LOL ....
L OH! L
...*sigh*...How I wish I ALSO had someone to complain to on bad days.
...Then again, I'm thinking it's been good KYMSAYEO training for the teen years...(keep your mouth shut and your ears open
[...] is brilliant! I followed a FB link that Wendy liked and found this handy little Homeschool Mom Universal Translator guide. Craig and I [...]
Humorous...but I've never said any of these things to my husband...because I can't. In 26 years of hs with another 10 to go, I have yet to experience the freedom of telling it like it is. Hubby is a passive supporter; he loves to brag about ACT scores, success in college, etc.; and there have been a few good conversations about child #x and the progress or lack thereof, the good things or the bad, etc. But those have been few; it is, in this home, a single-parent endeavor within a marriage. I hope I don't sound bitter or angry because I am not; we have been married long enough that I simply accept reality. Maybe I am a bit jealous, tho, of other wives' freedom to express themselves, because even tho I know the list was meant to be humorous, and so is probably somewhat exaggerated, a lot of it just sounds like whiny women to me. I am on my own in so many ways that I am effectively a single parent, and I can't even imagine saying any of those things to my husband.
I did appreciate others' additions to the list...and to every one who commented on relatives' criticism/skepticism whether vague or blunt, I am sorry that this makes your road harder. It is a hard job to muck through the swamp and then fall into a hole created by those we love. Keep teaching the kids to love the relatives even though they create bumps in the road.
"Could you please go yell at the children and make us all cry?"
bwahahaha. i didn't know these miscommunications were so universal *cute*.
We call this "pink and blue" talking in our house. We took a class at our church called "Love and Respect" and they focus in on pink and blue talking and hearing. The trick is (as in the article) learning to be in the middle (purple talking and hearing) and understanding one another. Great article! My husband loves it and so do I.
Just in the middle of my second year homeschooling. Stumbled across this and couldn't stop laughing! Thanks! I'll link to it on my site.
I really like Darla's. It hits right in my back yard. We need to keep adding to this. I really think, although it is hilarious,that husbands really find this helpful. good stuff.
As a work-outside-the-home mom married to a homeschooling dad, this makes me appreciate all the more that most men (my husband included) just say what they mean straight out- and mean what they say. Much easier to help them that way. Try it with your husbands someday!
LOL! This is great! I wish I had this translation sheet for my husband in the earlier years! Hats off to you both... thanks a ton for sharing with us all.
Oh, I hear you about the quizzing grandparents. They rarely ask about the kids' other interests, activities and accomplishments. Once my MIL started doing it on Christmas Eve. DS#2 told her "It's Christmas Eve, I'm not doing this with you." My kids just walk away when they start that now.
Thanks for the giggle, Lee!
This was great, but what we really need is a Homeschool Mom Universal Translator for Disapproving Relatives! Many of the above apply! :-)
When she says, "Your parents were shocked that our daughter doesn't know if the Civil War came before or after the Vietnam War"
What she means is, "Will you tell your parents to stop quizzing our kids or we might have to start quizzing them. And they WILL lose because we know more."
What she doesn't mean is, "I hate your parents and I haven't forgotten that they get Memorial Day and Veterans Day confused"
When your wife says, "I wish our daughter could learn as easily as ......"
What she means is, "It doesn't seem fair that she works twice as hard for not even half the return.I grieve for her."
What she doesn't mean is, "I wish I had another,smarter daughter because this kid is so much work"
When your wife says, "I miss feeling successful..."
What she does mean is, "It would be nice to get firm feedback (in an interim that is less than 18 years) that homeschooling is the right choice.
What she doesn't mean is, "my old job was more important, my old life was better."
Having whined about these two things (and I could list 100 more!), I will say that my husband does seem to "get it" but not at a visceral level.