Hi there, Mr. HomeScholar here...
It has come to my attention that homeschool dads will sometimes struggle understanding their wives. Lee asked me to help explain the homeschool mom perspective to the dads out there.
As a public service, I wanted to share my Homeschool Mom Universal Translator with your husband. Could you please pass this on to him? Consider it my gift to you. You might want to print this out and keep it in your wallet for handy reference.
Did you read my blog post, Disapproving, Insensitive Relatives Translator (DIRT)? This can help if you have other family members that disapprove of your homeschooling your children.
For up-to-date information on how to translate your homeschool mom messages, check out this article: TheHomeschool Mom Decoder.
To print your Homeschool Mom Universal Translator (HMUT) click the link below:
PS. Get our FREE resources guide, "The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make Homeschooling High School." I promise you will love it or DOUBLE your money back!!
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Wives of male lawyers are not called "lawyer moms," so I'm not sure why husbands of HS moms are "homeschool dads." I AM a homeschool dad, in that I have been my daughter's primary teacher for 6 years. My wife works full time as a public school teacher.
I appreciate that we are an extreme minority. Please appreciate that the label "homeschool dad" has a radically different, and mostly unappreciated definition for those of us who do this job.
My wife came and sat my but# down and said read this... then pointed to "My children are horrible."... and that's the one we just had!!!! we all laughed and I feel better that this is common! Well done.
When your wife says: There is a great homeschool conference going on next weekend ...
What she means is: Don't make any plans. You are babysitting.
What she DOESN'T mean is: Tell me if you think I should go or not
When your wife says: "I can't get a single thing done!"
What she means is: "Please fold some laundry."
What she doesn't mean is: "Please call up your mother to come help me out a bit."
SO funny. When I was first homeschooling and would get stressed out and try to talk through it w/my husband he would often reply that maybe we should just put the kids in school. I finally said, "What would you say if you came home to me to tell me about your hard day and I told you to quit your job? Because that is what you are doing to me. I don't want to quit my job, I just need to talk through the newness of the difficulties here, just like you do."
Also, when we started homeschooling, I wrote up a sheet of expectations telling my hubby what it would require of him. It woke him up a little and made him realize we were making a lifestyle choice. Until then, he said he had mostly thought it would be something I would do as long as I wanted to... 8 yrs and going strong.
Thanks for the reminder of why I put my kids in school! Having those negative and self deprecating thoughts and feelings constantly is no healthy way to live, especially when your husband just doesn't get it!
What I say is this: I'm looking at these programs, which do you think our children will benefit from more?
What I mean: I want ONE, and you know our children too, and I value your insight into their personalities. Please give me your opinion, even if it is different than mine, so I know I have considered all bases.
What I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MEAN: It doesn't matter, whichever, so you pick by going eenie meenie miney moe, so I don't have to make a decision.
It's good to know that admitting to one bad day so often translates into "Let's dump the kids back into public-school-pergatory!" I thought I was the only woman who had to deal with that response.
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